The terror of being known
We have difficulty admitting our mistakes.
We feel like people won’t accept us as we are.
This leads us into isolation. Some might call it a cave.
We hear talk of the forgiveness of God and the power of God to change our hearts, but we find we never can live in that victory.
We read the Bible, do Bible studies, and listen to preachers hoping that somehow life will become different. That somehow we won’t feel the oppressive guilt deep inside of us.
The feeling that, when the pastor talks about the problem I so deeply struggle with, everyone is looking at me.
Our efforts don’t matter, do they?
And, it’s not as though you don’t try. You try hard and often. You invest blood, sweat and buckets of tears to this. Asking God to take this cup from you.
We hear about the forgiveness of God and the power of God to change our hearts. But we find that we can never live in that victory.
And the level or the scale of “life-altering issues” can be wide sweeping. Maybe you are a closet alcoholic, food-aholic, sex-aholic, or gambling addict.
Maybe you secretly inflict pain on yourself. Wishing to punish yourself for the things you’ve done wrong. Or because you want to feel something…anything.
Maybe you steal because you want the control, or you feel entitled.
Maybe you give yourself away to others because you want to feel wanted. Even if for just a moment.
Maybe you find your attitude is your stumbling block.
Out of nowhere, you will find yourself exploding with anger. Raging against the person closest to you.
Maybe you judge people relentlessly (yourself included).
You feel such anger and resentment against people different from yourself. (race, religion, political affiliation, or gender.)
Maybe you are always looking for the latest news, gossip or info on your friends and co-workers…and maybe the best part of your day is passing that info on to another.
Maybe someone abused you verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually. Maybe they took something that wasn’t freely offered and maybe they gave something that was never wanted.
Maybe you’re addicted to consumption. Maybe all you think about is the next pay check and what you’ll buy when you get it.
Maybe your experience is much darker than what I’ve even spoken.
And maybe…just maybe, you think there’s hope is not a possibility.
And probably you feel that confession is the last thing on earth you want to participate in.
After all, to confess is an incredible risk.
To put our life out in the open, to describe what’s happening inside of us, using words, and entrust those words with another person is a risky venture…isn’t it?
So, this begs the question… why should we confess to one another?
Swing by tomorrow as we continue our conversation about confession