I usually try to keep my posts up-beat and light. Life, though, has been difficult, and I’m finding myself in a place of vulnerability and deep fear. I thought I’d take a moment and reflect on life, faith, and where I’m finding myself these days.
Back when I had a paycheck that monthly found its way into my bank account, and when I had a great job, with great co-workers, it was easy to dream of all the ways God wanted to use my wife and I. We thought about how fantastic it would be to go do ministry together, hand-in-hand. Worry was on vacation in Cayman Islands on someone Else’s dime.
These days, though, I’m dang scared about the uncertainty of life. I fear being struck by lightning (sarcasm!) at the very mention of this… after all, our journey has regularly been injected with “God-moments.” But what do I do? (A question asked by 8.3 percent of Americans)
I mean, this is a big one. I have a daughter and a wife to feed.
We have bills that (unlike a paycheck) find my bank account each month.
Yes, this is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. E and I made a leap of faith back in December, and we acted on a believed that we were being called to participate in the redemption of a city. I truly, still believe we are.
The leap was easy, and mostly fun.
Continuing to trust is something all together more difficult.
But, I’m learning a whole new level of trust with God. I am learning to believe in his calling.
I’m learning to trust in his navigation skills.
I’m always trying to remember that, while my mind can so easily become self-absorbed on what’s not present in my life, if I linger in this place, I will miss what God is doing all around me.
So, as I reflect on my reality, the reality billions of others, and your work in the world, I want to offer a simple prayer.
Father, please care for the broken, the jobless, and the stressed.
Keep the frightened and the lonely, close to your chest.
May your peace be ever-present when all feels most ill-fated,
and help me to live in the reality of as son you’ve created.